The Final Day (Part 2)

On arrival at the airport, they both hurried towards the Customs unit. Seun was almost running while Gloria tried to keep up with him. She had been with him for 3 years but had never seen him so excited and impatient about anything before. They got to the desk just under a sign which read “CUSTOMS DEPARTMENT” hanging from the ceiling. Seun was panting as he tried to explain why he was there.  He told the uniformed lady sitting at the desk about a Mr Patrick who had called him. She picked up her desk phone, dialled a number and inquired about this appointment. After a few seconds pf speaking in a hushed tone, she replaced the receiver and told them to follow her. She went in through a door behind her, and they were in a dimly lit passage way. They walked about ten feet before they turned right and stepped into a room. The room was deserted but for the table and a few chairs. The uniformed lady told them to sit down and wait for Mr Patrick. Seun and Gloria exchanged glances, and then he asked the lady why they were waiting. She told them not to worry, and left.

Seun was getting more impatient than ever after he had waited 30 minutes and yet they hadn’t attended to them yet. He was pacing, and fuming almost. Gloria was getting worried, as well. She wondered what they could be waiting for. Even by Nigerian standards, this was too much of a wait.

“Do you think something is wrong?” she asked Seun

“What could possibly go wrong?” he replied. “They were the ones who told me to hurry over here so that the charges for clearing the parcels will not increase”

“But Seun, do you really mean it when you say you don’t know who sent you the parcels?”

He stopped pacing and looked at her. “I’m being totally honest with you, Gloria. I have no idea. But God works in mysterious ways dear. And I’m not about to have second thoughts about this”

“Hmm, I’m not saying you should. It’s just strange, that’s all”

“Yes dear. God is strange.” He said, looking at the ceiling, maybe having a silent communion with the Most High.

Just then, a man in a suit walked into the room, and with him were two officers, with guns.

“Hello.” He said, smiling and looked at Seun. “You must be Mr Alako.” He shook Seun’s hand strongly, then he looked at Gloria and said “This must be your wife”

Seun and Gloria said the “No” together. The man looked at them both and introduced himself as Mr Patrick; then he went on to explain that he just had to ask them a few questions before they proceeded with claiming the parcels. Seun was confused. What questions did they need to be asked? Let them just claim their property and get the hell out of there!

“Mr Alako, or can I call you Seun?”

Seun nodded.

“How long have you been dealing with illegal drugs?”

Seun’s eyes widened. “Wh…WHAT?!” he exclaimed.

“I asked you a question. You cannot reply a question with a question, Mr Alako.”

“I don’t even know what you’re talking about” Seun told him. He was quite bemused. Gloria just looked at both of them, mouth agape.

Mr Patrick, observed them for a few seconds, sighed and folded his hands. He had surely been through cases of denial like this before, but at the end of it all they were always guilty.

“Seun, we found five kilograms of cocaine in one of those parcels. Very well hidden, and impossible to find by our guys. But we had our dogs sniff at it, and they found it...”

Seun was aghast. He wanted to just vanish from this place. His world was spinning with him sitting at that the centre of it. They were speaking but he wasn’t hearing them. He clenched his fists…then stumped them on the table as he got on his feet and yelled!

“FUCK THIS! I WILL NOT BE FRAMED FOR SOMETHING I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT!”

The two armed officers standing just by the door tightened their grips on their weapons and became more alert. The frown on their faces was menacing. Gloria was startled by Seun’s outburst. She was confused more than ever. What could be happening? How had she gotten herself into such a situation? She was rubbing her palms together and pleading to God to save her from this.

“Calm down, Mr Alako. There is no need to raise your voice” Mr Patrick was still sitting; hands still folded and with the calmest of looks on his face.

“HOW CAN I NOT RAISE MY VOICE WHEN YOU’RE TELLING ME THIS?” Seun paused…

Mr Patrick, let me tell you the truth. I know nothing about those parcels. I have nobody living in the UK who could have sent those things. You were the one who called me, and sent me the pictures. I don’t know how this has happened but we live in a fucked up world so I guess shit which shouldn’t have, must have happened. Please, just allow me to go and I will be on my way right this very minute and pretend all this never happened.”

Mr Patrick smiled again, then he shook his head and leaned on the table with his arms.

“There is no way we can let you leave. This is an interrogation, and we are not done yet. Please, Seun, Sit down and let us finish. You…”

“I SHOULD SIT DOWN?” Seun interrupted him, “WHY THE FUCK SHOULD I SIT DOWN WHEN I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE? I CAN’T FUCKING TAKE THIS. I CAN’T!”

Seun glanced at Gloria, and in that moment, she saw all the wrath of the world in his eyes.

“Gloria, let’s go” he told her and made to leave. Just as he reached the door one of the officers stood in his way and ordered him to go back to his seat. Gloria stood just three feet away, observing. Mr Patrick still sat down, arms still folded, and chuckling. At that moment…Seun clenched his fists again. He was angry beyond words. He’d had a very bad day, and now these morons were trying to be the icing on a cake that was his miserable life.

“Get out of my way, you idiot. Or I’m going to push you out” Seun spat out those words, right in the officers face. 

“Seun please, just sit down and answer the questions. I’m sure they’ll let us go when they are through with us. Please…”

“Listen to the woman, Mr Alako. Do as she says” Mr Patrick said.

“SHUT UP BOTH OF YOU!  SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTHS. I AM NOT GOING TO STAY HERE AND BE REDUCED TO THE LEVEL OF A COMMON CRIMINAL. IF YOU WANT TO ARREST ME, I AM SURE YOU KNOW MY ADDRESS.”

With that, he turned and pushed the Officer standing in his way. The uniformed man hit his back against the door, and in that same moment…pulled the trigger on his rifle. A single shot was heard. The smell of gunfire filled the air. Mr Patrick jumped from where he sat and shot a frightened look at the officer. Gloria screamed, her shrill voice rent the air and her hands were raised up.

Seun staggered a bit, his hands clutching his abdomen. The pain was beyond explanation. He had never been shot before, had never experienced such pain before. He felt the warm trickle of his blood as it spilled from the gaping wound. He took one last look at his shooter, and fell to the ground.

He was dead before Gloria hurried to kneel beside him.

THE END.

The Terrible Five Days

My story began on Monday.

It was the first day of the week. My alarm rang at 5:30. I was being my usual lazy self and refused to get up from the bed. My body felt too heavy, and I didn’t have the strength of mind to lift my being up from where it comfortably lay. I snoozed the alarm ad closed my eyes. Just a few more minutes, please, I begged no one in particular. Maybe I was speaking to the alarm clock.

The next time I heard the alarm it was 6:30 am. The speed at which I threw myself out of that bed and jumped in the bathroom, showered, dressed up and got ready for work all before 7:00am is still a mystery to me till this day. I was in my car and driving to work. Well, I was driving until I got to the inevitable traffic congestion at Richard Mansel Drive, which was just five minutes away from my office if the traffic wasn’t so awful. I was late already, and the idiotic traffic warden whose job it was to direct the free flow of vehicles was doing very poorly. I cursed and sighed and cursed again. By the time I had manoeuvred through that quagmire of machine and carbon mono-oxide, the time was 8:!5.

I sped past cars and pedestrians as I drove into the office complex and found an empty spot to park my Accord. My Accord grumbled a bit before its engine finally quenched. It needed maintenance, but I had no money for that yet. I rushed into the 8 storey building that was Omega Oil Servicing Co. and took the elevator to the fifth floor. During the elevator ride, I brought my tie out from my pocket and knotted it as best as I could before I arrived at my floor. A few eyes observed me as I did this but I didn’t care about them. I was more concerned about the scornful look I was expecting to see on Mr Odimuya’s face as I stepped into the Senior Staff meeting in his office.

Mr Odimuya was smiling when he saw me. He beamed even and offered me a “Hello, James. We have been expecting you.” His grin was quite unusual. His teeth glistened more than it should. He was in a grey suit with a red tie. Mr Odimuya never wore red ties. But then I got to realize that he did that for the rest of the week, because to him, red signified love (not danger?) and we were in a season of love. Then I remembered that Valentine’s day was coming up on Thursday. So I wasn’t getting a tongue lashing for being late today, I guess. I allowed myself a smile of my own as I sat down in a vacant seat and enjoyed the rest of the morning.

The valentine talk filled my ears from all lips at work that morning. I couldn’t get enough of it. And just as I sat down in my office minding my own business, then walks in Susan. She was one colleague I’d known for three years and have never liked. Reason being that she loved to talk - a lot - about nothing that made much interest to me.

“so who’s your lucky girl this Thursday, Jamie?” she asked even without bothering to exchange pleasantries.

I stopped what I was doing, and looked at her. We exchanged that look for a few seconds before I looked back at my PC and continued typing.

“Hey, come on… don’t go all blank on me like that. You’re a cute guy. You’re not gay…well if you are I wouldn’t know, and I don’t really care though, maybe I would find it funny and look at you in a certain way from now on. But that’s all crap, we both know you aren’t, and that means you love to stick it in a vajayjay. So whose is it gonna be on Thursday, Jamie?”

Usually, I don’t get angry at work. I’m the cool, calm, collected guy who’s always polite to everybody and likes to move along with my colleagues. I do not search for the troubles of others, and pray all the time that theirs would never find me. But at that very moment, when Susan had just finished speaking and was looking at me in that very disgusting way that she does, I stood up…and just like it was in slow motion, I hit her across the face with the back of my hand. Susan spun and hit the wall first before falling to the ground…and stayed there, unmoving.

***********

The next day was Tuesday. It was 9:15am and I lay in my bed looking at the ceiling. I had been suspended for a week, without pay. It was the most sickening thing that 2013 had thrown at me yet. Susan had survived my back-hand slap. Well, it was more than a slap, since she actually fainted. She lost consciousness for almost five minutes. I had stood there for a minute or so, first confused, thinking she was faking it, and then bending over her to check her pulse, maybe even considering CPR. A lot of junk went through my head at that moment…before I reached for my phone and called the office medics.

When Mr Odimuya heard of my actions, he called me to his office to hear what I had to say. No matter what I had said, having such physical confrontations in the office usually led to being sacked. My whole existence was shivering as I stood before Mr Odimuya. He was with a calmness I had never seen of him before, in grey suit and red tie, glasses sparkling in the bright light above us, and telling me that i was to be suspended. I could have jubilated, until he mentioned the part that I wasn’t going to get paid for the period I would be absent and my salary could be slashed as more punishment.

Susan deserved what she got though, I told myself as I lay there, thinking about my life. Still, it was wrong to have hit her. But the pain and anger all mushed into one within me had erupted that Monday morning. I gritted my teeth and wondered how I was going to survive with a slashed salary. If only Susan had stayed at her damned desk instead of coming to find out who I would be ‘painting the town red’ with on Valentine’s day. And even when I thought about it, there was no body I had in mind of going out with on Thursday; and especially not now that I didn’t have any money for such.

By Wednesday, I had become extremely restless. I couldn’t stay around the house an

Mysterious Woman (Part 1)

Friday

I just got back from work that afternoon, extremely tired. Needing to rest and relax my nerves. I got in the shower first and let the cold water wash away the stress of the day from my body and soul. I stood there for quite a while. I didn’t want to leave. But it wasn’t a bath-tub...where you could fall asleep in and even drown if you were a careless mofo. I grudgingly turned off the shower and grabbed a towel to clean up my wet body. I was hungry like a starving Somali child. I grubbed on what I had left over in the fridge, drank a cup of juice and headed straight to bed. I checked the clock on my phone to know the time and set the alarm to wake me up by 7:00PM so I could go drink the rest of the day out with a few pals. Just as I lay my weary head on the pillow and closed my eyes...the call came in. My phone rang. It was beside me there on the bed but I refused to pick it. But  I figured it could be somebody important, so i checked the missed call and found out it was just another strange number. I dropped the phone on the bed and closed my eyes. And just as I began to drift...the phone started ringing once more. i cursed the devil. I reached for the phone, picked it up and answered the call. It was a female voice at the other end. She asked if it was i on the line...I said yes. I asked who she was. She said I wouldn’t know her. Then I asked her what she wanted. She said she wanted to see me. I wondered who it could be, wanting to see me. I wanted to question her further but i was too tired to think of the right questions. I just went on to arrange the time and place. We’d meet later that evening, at a Big-Shot bar. It was not a place for small children to hang out, I remember. So this lady must be one of substance. I was still wondering what it was that she wanted to see me about when I dived into the dark abyss that is deep slumber.

My alarm woke me up at 7 o’clock exactly.  I grumbled and got off the bed to go wash my face in the bathroom. Then I freshened up and put on jean trousers, a Polo shirt and Sebago footwear. I got out my apartment feeling all fly and ready to have much fun that night until the earliest hours of tomorrow. I called a cabbie and told him to take me to the bar. I had never been to the bar before and I didn’t know exactly how to get in there. I was hoping my mystery lady would be there waiting. I dialled the number she’d called me with. She told me she was already there waiting. I told her I was almost there. She asked if I was driving and I told her yes. Well, fcuk it. She didn’t have to know I was car-less. A few minutes later I was walking towards the bar, with two ‘don’t mess with me, punk’ type of bouncers standing at the entrance and wiping folks with that Garett metal detecting machine. I walked up to them, a mean look on my face and made to enter like I was a regular at the place. One of them put this massive arm in front of me and returned my mean look with a meaner one of his. My mean look disappeared quickly and I was all smiling and telling them that I’m being expected there. By who? The other one asked...his voice all scruffy and coarse. I didn’t know my mystery lady’s name yet. But I loved surprises and wanted to see who she was when I looked upon her. I called her to let her know the guards wouldn’t let me in. I noticed Mr Mean-Look had a scowl on his face when I called them guards. Mr Scruff-voice just stared at me like he wanted to eat me. She told me to hand the phone over to them. I gave the phone to Mr Scruff-voice and he listened for a few seconds then grunted his approval, held my phone in his hand, staring at it like he was looking at the greatest invention ever made by man. He handed it over to me and nodded at me to go in. I just grinned at both of them and made my way in, leaving the two suckers to sulk till eternity.

The place was dark, but for the dimmed lights and the other colourful ones that every bar or night club usually had. I didn't know exactly where to find her...the place was already bubbling with slow music and the usual banter and laughter that Friday evenings were made of. I walked up to the bar and tried to order the cheapest drink they had there. While I sat there sipping it slowly, I scanned the place for her. I checked all the tables. There were no tables of a lady sitting lonely and waiting. It was either guys sitting and drinking or a dude sitting with a lady. I asked the bar attendant if there were any VIP rooms in the place. He still had that look of disgust on his face, like I was the only guy that had bought the cheapest drink from that bar for the whole year or something. He replied and told me there were VIP rooms, but none of the VIPs had come that evening. So if she wasn’t sitting at a table in the general section and was not in VIP, where the feck was she?

Just then, a lady walked into the bar. I observed this lady as she walked. And I decided within myself that she wasn’t the one. This lady was too young to be my Mystery Caller. But just as I sat there, slowly sipping my expensive cheap drink...this young lady walked up to the bar and sat just beside me. I pretended to be busy with my phone, but I felt her eyes on me. Then when she ordered a bottle of one of the most expensive drinks they had there...i looked at her for two reasons. One was to gaze upon this lady who had ordered a bottle of such an expensive drink and wondering why the heck she would do such a thing, and the other reason was because I recognized her voice. It was my mystery caller alright.

“I’m sorry for keeping you waiting” she finally said.

The Final Day (Part 1)

The day was Saturday...

It was getting to the end of November and Seun had not yet been paid his salary. Seun was a very impatient young man, and he needed the money as urgently as fish out of water needed its hydrogen. He was up to his neck in debt that he owed so many people who he'd borrowed from and had promised to pay when he got paid. When the time finally came for him to get paid, the bastards told him that they were still trying to balance the company accounts before any staff could be paid. That had been a week ago. Seun had been stretched to his limit. He was hungry for money and could surely do anything for it at that moment.

While Seun was going through his shirt and trouser pockets for the umpteenth time that week, trying to find if he might have left some cash in them that he could at least feed with, his phone began to ring. He was always apprehensive of the sound of his phone ringing because of the many people he owed who usually called to ask him about their money. He knew it was one of them calling him again. He didn't bother checking it till it stopped ringing. But a few seconds later the phone was ringing again. Seun walked up to where the phone lay on his bed and picked it up to check who was calling. It was a strange number. He suspected that it was one of his creditors calling him with an unknown number since he had been avoiding their calls all week. He still didn’t pick. He dropped the phone back on the bed and continued searching his pockets. But the phone rang and rang and rang...until Seun decided it was time to face his fears. He picked up the phone, answered the call and listened...

“Hello, is this Mr Seun Alako from Okota?”

Seun was more apprehensive now than before. Who could this be that knew him by his full name and knew the area where he lived as well? Was it the police? Had one of his creditors decided that the debt he owed and couldn’t pay was now a matter of National Security?

“Hello? Is someone there? Hello?”

“Yes, yes, this is Seun speaking. Who is this?”

“This is Mr Patrick calling from the Customs Unit at MM1. We need you to come over and clear your parcels, Sir”

Seun was not sure what he’d heard, so he asked again. And Mr Patrick repeated the same thing he’d said before. There were two big boxes of items that had been sent from the United Kingdom with his name being on the recipient section. He was expected to come to the airport as soon as he could to clear his things, that any further delay would attract more charges. Mr Patrick also told him that clearing the boxes would require just a minimal amount of N15, 000. Even though Seun knew that he didn’t have as much as N500 to his name at that moment, this news was too good to not be true. These were no scammers or 419ers. Mr Patrick had sent him pictures through Whatsapp to his phone and he saw the two big boxes and his name, Okota (where he stayed) and his very own phone number written boldly on the sides of the boxes. What could be in those boxes, he asked himself. But the sooner he got that N15, 000 naira and go claim them...

The only person he could ask for that money who would give him that very day was Gloria, his ex-girlfriend who owned a boutique down town. But he already owed Gloria N30, 000. He still went ahead and dialled her number. Told her he needed to see her. She told him to come over to the boutique and Seun went there, sat down with her and told her everything. He even showed her the pictures. Gloria was extremely sceptical about everything and warned him about scammers and the things they do. Seun convinced her that scammers would never go through such trouble just to get N15, 000 out of somebody. She saw reason with him, and agreed on just one condition; that she would follow him to the airport to clear the boxes. Seun didn't want to agree at first, but when he saw the look on her face and the fact that he already owed her a lump sum already, he did agree...

They got in Gloria's car as she drove them to the airport. Seun was restless throughout the drive there. He didn't know if to be happy or overjoyed, and he hadn’t even prayed to God that morning, but it seemed He was being good to him despite all of his shortcomings. He clasped his hands together, bowed his head and said a short prayer of thanks. Gloria saw him do this and chuckled. She liked the man sitting beside him in her car right now, and would even like him more if they succeed with getting whatever it was that was within those boxes...

to be continued

The Most Forbidden

I’m about to tell a story. You can either choose to believe or not to believe it. Well, whatever you do...i really do not give a multi-pointed cutlery.

There lived in this town, a happy family. A husband, wife and three kids. The husband's name was Daddy, the wife's name was Mommy, and the three kids were Adenike, Olajide and Tolulope. Daddy, Mommy and the kids were all happy with each other, they all loved each other, they all cared for each other, and there were never any moments of quarreling or strife amongst them. A model family they were, to many other families that lived around them. Other parents would say “Look at the kids of Mr Daddy and Mrs Mommy, they always love and obey their parents...unlike you ungrateful bastards”

Daddy and Mommy were staunch Christians in the church. Technically, you could say they owned the church, since 60% of the money that had been used to build it had come off their bank accounts. Daddy was a deacon and Mommy was a deaconess. They each went to church five times every week, and spent not less than 8 hours every Sunday attending to church activities. Daddy was such a devout servant in the house of God. Mommy was a tad bit more devout than her husband, and both were very content with how the society looked up to them as true Christians who never joked with doing the purpose that the Lord had brought them into the world to do.

Now, the kids, Nike, Jide and Tolu loved their parents so very much. They had never lacked anything in their lives from the day they were born up to the moment the events of this story unfolded. Nike was 21, a final year student in a Private University established by a very prominent church in the country. She was about to graduate with a very good result and couldn't wait for the time to come when she would be free from that prison her parents called an Educational Institution. Jide was 18, in another more expensive private University, just going into his 2^nd year and getting used to life in a better prison than his elder sister. While Tolu, was 13 and in a private Secondary school for girls.

Our story will focus on the life of Jide, the only boy in the family.

Jide had gotten to that stage in his life where boys are very sexually active and become very attracted to their female colleagues and the likes. Jide’s mom, Mommy, knew about this, and had discussed it with Daddy a few times. But the difficult part was bringing Jide to the sitting room, offering him a seat in one of the comfortable sofas, and giving him the advice he needed to go through this stage in his life. The usual sex-ed routine: Learn to abstain, keep yourself till marriage, but if you really can’t...make sure you use a condom, to protect yourself from sexually transmitted diseases or unwanted pregnancies, etc...etc. But, naaah...Daddy and Mommy were staunch Christians and practitioners of the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ of Nazareth...so the only sex education that Jide or any of their other children needed to hear was that “FORNICATION IS A SIN...AND THE WAGES OF SIN IS ETERNAL DEATH BY THE SCORCHING FLAMES OF HELL!!!” And they made sure that message was preached almost every morning during morning devotion. Jide and his sisters would surely get the message and stay the hell away from coital relations with their opposite sexes.

Jide was a melancholic young man, who had to endure various bouts of depression and mood disorders. He had always managed to keep it under a facade so that his parents or siblings hardly ever noticed. He was an introvert, kept to himself most of the time and hardly had any friends. Then because of the way his parents had brought him up, far and away from the normal children on the streets, he had become so used to the loneliness so much that even being around people was always very awkward for him. He was quite intelligent, but very shy, and lacked the confidence to speak to a large number of people...or to a very beautiful lady. His parents, especially his mother, Mommy, had always been stern on the act of her children bringing visitors to their home. She had warned Nike various times to not go to boys’ houses and to never bring any boy to her house. If she wanted to keep any friends...let it be female friends, and she was only allowed to bring her female friends to the house. So when it became Jide’s turn to bring friends to the house, the same warning went to him, to never bring any girl to the house...and never to go out looking for any girl. He had to focus on his studies and become a Medical Doctor before he thought about women or the pleasures that existed within their bodies. 

Jide obliged. He always obeyed his mother, he never wanted to make her angry or be mad at him. So he never brought any female friend to his house, only male friends. He didn’t have many friends though, but when he got into the University, he found one best friend. This dude named Samuel, but everybody called him Sammy. Jide and Sammy became the closest of friends, they always hanged out together, always played FIFA together, always argued about cars and gadgets with each other. They were such happy buddies, and Mommy even liked Sammy and the fact that her son was his friend. Once or twice, whenever Jide tried to sneak a female into the house, Mommy would be so pissed when she found out. She would raise hell and let Jide know he had done wrong and disobeyed God by not doing what his mother had asked. But if any of Jide’s male friends came to visit, she would smile at them and even offer them food and drinks. 

Jide was not happy with Mommy anymore, how can he cope under these conditions? A sturdy, young man like him, with strong sexual desires, and the only way he could quench them was being frowned at by his moronic directors at school or by his devout Christian folks back at home. It was too much for him to bear. He had to do something about it or else it would drive him nuts. So Jide devised a plan in his head...

On this fateful day...Mommy was about to go out for her Women's meeting at the church and needed someone to clean the car for her. Jide usually did this, and the last time she had checked, he was in his room, taking a nap. She called his name twice, but he didn't respond. She walked towards where his room was so that he could hear her more clearly, and bellowed his name again. Still, Jide didn't respond. She sighed. Maybe he had gone out again, she thought to herself. So, she went out to her car, tried to get in and found out that the car was locked. She remembered then that she'd given Jide the car keys earlier to go and get some provision from their supermarket. Then she walked back into the house. She was a few feet before Jide's room before she started to hear the sounds. When she got to Jide's door, the sounds became clearer to her. Mommy's eyes widened as she listened carefully. It was the unmistakable sound of a man and a woman having carnal knowledge of each other. THE GREATEST SIN OF THEM ALL. in Jide's room? her very own Jide's room? No, she didn't want to believe what she was hearing. Maybe Jide was doing something else. maybe he had listened as she called his name, then when he thought she had left, he'd switched on his CD player and started watching one of those abominable erotic videos. Just as Mommy stood there wondering, the sounds got louder...and she just couldnt hold her rage anymore. 

 Mommy, grabbed the door knob, twisted it, and barged into Jide's room. What she saw shocked her, her eyes bulged, her jaws dropped... and her words hung in her throat. 

Behold, Jide was totally naked...on all fours, on his bed. Wearing a wig, with make-up on his face that made him look female. And Sammy was behind him, holding his hip and ramming his penis into Jide's orifice. 

Mommy fainted.

The End.

Incomiiiing...

*clears throat*

Hello folks...this here is the first and maybe the last time you will see me addressing you, as the 'audience' to the drama that is about to unfold in subsequent pages...

i have had a couple of blog sites in the past, but i've never been able to keep up. it is quite difficult trying to do that when you have a whole lotta work to do...

or when your are just plain lazy. (-___-)

well, i do hope to entertain y'all with whatever it is that i have come here to do. i will try my best in making sure you didnt waste any minute of your life's time in clicking on the link that brought you here.

The Mundane Tales.

as the last word in the title implies, its all about stories. as for the second word...if you dont already know its meaning....GRAB A DICTIONARY!!!

#OkBye